Ep. 150 | Dry January: What Taking a Break From Alcohol Can Teach You

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Hello and welcome to another podcast of Everyday Therapy. I am Doctor Karen Ryan, licensed psychologist, and I am here with— Hello, this is Brett Cushing, licensed marriage family therapist. Glad to be with you. Yeah. Thanks for joining us today.

We are talking about dry January. Dry January. What is it? Really, it is taking a break from alcohol intentionally during the month of January. And this came about for a lot of reasons. But really in particular, how many people will, you know, have parties, more drinking kind of over the holiday season and kind of recognizing with New Year's and resolutions and start of the year that it can be a good time to kind of check in and intentionally dry means to not drink any alcohol at all during the month of January.

Yeah, it kind of reminds me of the way we try to counterbalance with eating and everyone goes on their diets then for the new year. And this is kind of the counterbalance for alcohol consumption. And it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to stop drinking. But there is some fascination when we look at people who engage in Dry January just for that month, there are some amazing benefits just for that month and even six months down the road, people are still seeing some of the benefits of that that many people don't realize.

Right. And for so many of us, we just get into habits. We start doing things without really thinking about them. So that might be having that cocktail or that glass of wine at night or, having a few drinks on a regular basis. And so it can be a helpful check in. But like, what are my habits? What am I doing? Kind of with the goal of like, well, this improve my sleep, my mood, my energy. And how can I just again be more intentional about how much alcohol I'm consuming on a daily and weekly basis? And while we're highlighting January as dry January, this can be dry February or just any month, or taking four weeks of just abstaining and noticing the effects, a lot of times, like you alluded to, doctor, around that we are unaware.

And I remember the first time I used My Fitness Pal and I started tracking everything, and I thought it was being really healthy. And I went to a Perkins. I ordered a brand muffin. Very proud of myself. Yes. Tasted like cardboard. And I put it in, and I realized it was like 500 calories. Yeah. And the carbs. I think I had a day's worth of carbs already and just had no idea. And if I would have kept that up, I had what? I had no idea. Yes, the negative effect. And so I think this is very similar to that. And it's great for people to be mindful and take notice that just this break will be very helpful for you.

Yeah. And that idea that knowledge is power, right. Like that was knowledge is power for you. And that's the goal here too is we're not highlighting, you know, we're not just trying to shame or label or say what you have to do or should do. This is really about like, how do we think about this as a way that empowers us to be more aware and like make positive choices for ourself?

Yes. Yeah. And it's not a shame based thing at all. It's just to be not to be critical of our past ranking, just curious about it and noticing some benefits. So yeah, let's talk maybe a little bit about alcohol and the body and just understanding what's really happening. Right. So alcohol many people I think, understand that it is a depressant. And so that's going to calm it down. We do lose those inhibitions. And we probably noticed over the holidays either us or others have done that. So it does help us relax. And that feels really good. And many times people, because we're not mindful, we don't realize that with any kind of drug or medication, for every equivalent low, we're going to have an equivalent high. And then for every equivalent high, we're gonna have an equivalent low.

So it does have a depressing effect. And that depressing effect can impact our nervous system, our mood regulation, and even our anxiety. A lot of people don't understand that. Yeah, yeah. When you we think about it. Right. It's like, well, what is happening. Right. So we know that when we drink, like we kind of think things differently, our energy is different. So that's like highlighting. It's impacting our brain and our neurological. Right. Which is just like our bodies moving right. Like it impacts that. We know it impacts our GI system or our stomachs and our oral health. Right? That alcohol on our teeth, it impacts our heart and our circulatory system. Right. Our immune system goes down a little bit and we know it impacts our organs like our liver, our kidneys. You can create increase. Yeah, right. And it can increase the risk of cancer. And again we're not saying these things to like be fear based. But it's just that recognizing okay alcohol really does impact our body. It really does. Yeah.

And as we're going to be talking on our next episode that you don't want to miss, alcohol has a real detrimental effect on our sleep. Yeah. And we're going to go a little bit deep on that with a special guest doctor Rick Blackburn. And but it's going to be deep but really practical and relevant. So there is and I think we know there's a negative effect of alcohol. But I don't think we know how much. Yeah. And so yep. And it also you know you highlighted this on like anxiety levels and it's a depressant. So it can you know it brings our mood down. It might make us feel better in the moment because we're not thinking about things as much is helping us relax and just kind of avoid it. But then some of those things kind of linger. It's like that festering anxiety that's in there. We kind of can cover it up.

And so taking some time off to pause and really look at things helps us kind of figure out what's really there. Right. Which sometimes is unpleasant. Right. It's like fine was there. But then again, knowledge is power. Knowledge is power. And a lot of times we don't have this awareness. And I think you were just alluding to it that anxiety can go up because we're using alcohol also as a coping mechanism. So we're just kicking the can down the road. Yeah. And I can use alcohol because I do feel better. I do finally relax and especially over the holidays people are anxious. What do I say? What do I do? What are people thinking about me. Yeah. Or sometimes we've had with anxiety. We're kind of on this hyper alert status and sort of navigating the terrain all the time, everywhere we go. And the alcohol is the only time we feel relaxed. And so then we can start to develop it as a coping mechanism. So I self-medicate my anxiety, but really I'm just kicking the can down the road. Yeah. And the anxiety is still there and it can even build over time. Yeah, exactly.

And you think about, you know, as you're describing like the busyness, like I think of myself and like the to do lists and then go, go, go go go right. And sometimes that habitual like if you have that drink it is that relaxation or it's almost like a permission to then stop going. And so that is a highlighting how it becomes a habit. And so if we think about a dry January or not drinking during January, what that can help us do is like recognize when and why are we kind of reaching for alcohol. Like, what message does that send to us? Is it giving us permission to do something? Is that like a shift in the day? And so it's again, that looking for those patterns and what emotions might be there that I'm avoiding. What message does this give to me? What permission does it give when am I reaching for that alcohol?

And I think the key is for us to be curious, not to be critical. And I can't really underscore that enough because, yeah, what can happen when we are critical and we are kind of shamed based towards this? Yeah. It can be a fast road back to like relapsing. If we have a problem with other people or we self-medicate the shame by using alcohol. Yeah. Yes. There's no blame, no shame. This is just about being curious and knowledge being aware and having some empowerment. So maybe along that vein we can look at the more of what are the benefits. Why do people do this? Any thoughts? Yeah. Yeah. And it's the goal is to how do I have a healthier approach. Right. Like how can I improve my sleep. How can I get if we highlighted kind of it impacts our mood. How do I get more mood stability? We know that, you know, alcohol can impact our sleep and then how we feel the next day and so do we have like we want to have more consistent energy. So these are all things that can help with that piece.

And a key piece too is that emotional awareness. And so what we can do is when we're trying to stop drinking right during January, we're like, okay, I'm not going to do this. Okay. So then in those evenings of those times and I find myself wanting to have a drink, what else can I do instead? And so it really is an intentional time then when we try to use some other coping mechanisms or some other skills, some other techniques that are going to help us, really process those emotions or relax in a way that then doesn't have some of those less positive impacts that alcohol can have. Right? So we're not just abstaining, we're replacing. Yes. Otherwise we if we're not aware, I'm going to oh, I'm not going to do alcohol, I'm going to smoke cigarettes now or I'm going to white knuckle it. If you've heard that phrase like I'm just going to get through January and then I'm going to revert back.

So maybe some things for people to think about. Is as you said, what am I try and do it? In other words, self-medicate with alcohol. And I think of the acronym HALT—when I'm hungry, when I'm angry, when I'm lonely, when I'm tired. And I always kind of throw in there when I'm bored and when I might have some past trauma that I'm trying to avoid. Those are kind of good things to think about and be attuned to. When you have that urge and to ask, what's really going on? Am I stressed, hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or bored? And then replacing that, what can I do? And some of that requires a little bit more intentionality. So for this to really be effective, it's not just abstaining, it's replacing with maybe I go for a walk. As I look outside, it is incredibly cold. It is, but maybe I do some physical activity, or I'm reading a book or finding something intentionally to replace it. Otherwise I think we lose the benefit.

I totally agree, and it's thinking, okay, if alcohol helps me relax, what else do I want? What can I do that helps me relax? Is that stretching, is that a walk? Is that reading? Is that, you know, snuggling on the couch and wrapping up? Right. If at a time when I normally sit with my partner or somebody that I love and we enjoy a drink together, what else can we do together, right, that shares that time? So maybe it's making a meal together. Maybe it's watching a movie together so it's you can do the same thing, but can you remove that? Right. That because that's not actually what's building the connection. The time together is building the connection. Right. And that was just a habit that got tied in with it, you know, do I journal? Do I spend this time like watching certain like TV shows or a movie or something that relaxes me and makes me feel connected. So there's so many different things, but it's it's checking in for yourself, like, okay, if I'm seeking relaxation, what will help me relax? If it gives me permission? I kind of alluded to that before of now I can relax. You don't need the alcohol to do that.

So that's that cognitive work of lovingly being like, I've worked hard today. I can just relax and lay on this couch. I give myself permission to do that. That's for me. Right? Like something I can be hard on myself, right? Like giving you permission to relax now, right? So it's so you can highlight or recognize the behaviors that we can do. And then also the thought processes that we can try and tap in with and lovingly shift for ourselves and really think about what it does relax us at night or in any of those times during the day when we are anxious or we get depressed or whatever we're trying to avoid.

So if you find yourself trying to do dry January and it's a challenge, right. Like we're going to talk in a little bit here about kind of signs of, okay, how can I get some more support on that. And it's also recognizing that there might be some discomfort. And that makes sense and is normal, because that's been the pattern and something that's been a mechanism for you. And this isn't a failure. That's information of like all right, what else can I do. And so normalizing that if you have some cravings. And I think that's a good word too for those of us that we try dry January and oh we blew it. Oh no I first weekend you know I went out and I had a couple drinks not to be all or nothing about this just to be again very curious and realize okay great I'm going to learn from that. Yes, I'm going to learn about myself. And hey, I'm kind of fascinating. So why not keep learning about myself, right. And be a little more positive about that.

So let's can we be a little more positive still and maybe highlight some of the things that people have noticed as they practice dry January. Yeah. So some common changes is that people they sleep better. Another plug for their next episode with Doctor Blackburn. So you're going to want to highlight that also their, their mood is more stable. That is really interesting. And some of this is what they're noticing in that first week, for instance, just in the first week: more energy, improved sleep, how those two go together. Of course, that's interesting. And better concentration. Then even by the second week, their thinking is more clear. There's continued increase in energy. They have a reduction in acid reflux and heartburn, which is—who wouldn't want that? Also better hydration. And we know that when we are not hydrated, that can cause a host of problems. Right. And if we're drinking alcohol, we're not drinking water. Right? Yeah.

And people actually make more progress in the gym. So that's amazing. Then by the third week people experience weight loss due to the caloric intake going down considerably and improved short term memory. And that's just in the first three weeks. Yeah. And so I love that. I love knowing the research because sometimes it's you don't feel it as much. And so like that logic of like, I know this will benefit me because research has shown it right. Yep. And so I get highlighting like what can happen even in those first few weeks and just that month. And so you might want to call it a diary card or just something to track every day or every week and just track what you notice. Otherwise we just sort of forget and we're mindless about it and we're still experiencing the benefits, but that might be something to augment this, dry January.

Yeah. And if it feels hard you know we highlighted that that can be normal because it's trying to find different habits, different patterns, different coping mechanisms, which it's just a natural part of being a human. And if you find yourself kind of feeling like, you know, this is really hard, I'm really finding myself struggling. Right. And then you might be wondering, like, well, how do I know that I might have, you know, some dependency on alcohol, right? And so that would be if it's like, you know, I'm really trying and I really want to and I just I feel like I can't, right. I feel like I have to have this, and I'm really struggling. You know, or if as you go through dry January, you realize, like, wow, I really increased how much I was drinking.

And what we can tend to do is when we hear the guidelines on like how many drinks you should have, that's when I encourage you to really lovingly but seriously check in and say and how much am I actually drinking. Because a drink, right, like especially for drinking hard alcohol, how big is your pour? So checking in on those sort of things and using January as a check in or any time, right, for how much am I actually drinking. That's actually four drinks and I had two of them as opposed to, you know, one can of beer or one glass of wine. And how big is your glass of wine? So it's it's just that time to check in.

And it's knowing, like if you find yourself going through intentional dry January or trying to shift your drinking in the new year and you're struggling, that there is help out there, right. They're called LADCs, licensed alcohol drug counselors. We've got them at Sage and there's many in whatever community you live in that can help touch base with you and do an assessment and just figure out. So if you go through this and you find, you know, I think I'd like some more support with this or I do, I'm lovingly thinking maybe you don't want it, but you're like, yeah, all right, it's time that there are going to be people who will help walk you through that, and get you the support that will help you make those changes that can really, as we've highlighted, have those health and mental health benefits and try to avoid the stigma of that too, like everybody's got problems, everybody struggling with something.

And I remember an old radio show I used to listen to, the person who would end with, hey, let's be patient with everyone because we're all struggling with something. Yes, sometimes it can be very serious when we have a problem with alcohol. And but I think when we admit it, that's the first step towards empowering yourself. And that's that's great. That's something to be kind of proud of I would say. Absolutely. And I would imagine that there is it would be a very, very small percentage, if any, of individuals who say I wasn't nervous at all to join a SUD group or to go in for a SUD—because SUD is substance use disorder—assessment, or to meet with somebody. That is normal. And what happens is once you get established with that person in that group, you're like, oh, we're all people. We all have these strengths. We're all thriving here. And here's where we have challenges. It can feel like, well, am I going to fit in? Am I get it? How is that going to feel for me? And you're going to feel nervous? That makes sense. It's something new. And then what you'll find is once you get in that group, like the support, the validation, the vicarious learning—that means, like learning through other people—their experiences, hearing them and being able to relate and then apply things. I don't think people have ever said, like, I wish I wouldn't have done that right.

In fact, there has been some research that's been done, I think, with Canada and Spain, about the importance of community. Yeah. And how they looked at people who have had community. And when they have a sense of community, they're able to abstain from using alcohol. And that's oftentimes the missing ingredient. So when people I found when people start going to a group of some sort, they can say, man, I feel like I'm half over this problem already. Yeah, that might highlight that the alcohol that's been used was to medicate something that's been lacking, such as community and connection in life. So, yeah, this could be a very good thing. Yeah.

And as we're talking about the idea of Dry January and we're talking about community and pulling in other people, if you're considering doing Dry January, you can pull in the people in your life, right. So if you have people in your home that you kind of have a pattern of drinking with or friends that you drink with, you can ask if they want to join you, right? And then you're doing it in community and you can kind of talk about that and normalize like, oh my gosh, okay, this is way harder than I thought. Okay, what else can we do? What are we going to do? And pulling them on board. And it's never meant to be a harsh or a critical lens, but if you can hold each other accountable in a loving way and work together on it, that can be really powerful. Absolutely. As well. Connecting and feeling like you're not alone and that you're figuring out together.

And this isn't just to suggest that Dry January is all about identifying that you have maybe a problem with alcohol. It's also to highlight that perhaps you can have some greater health benefits by reducing alcohol intake. And so try to remember that this is just about information, knowledge, power. Let's be mindful. And I would encourage again try not to avoid an all or nothing perspective that you might have this weekend or two, or maybe have a drink during the week because you had a stressful day and then think, oh no, I'm no good at this. I'm not going to do Dry January. No, no, no. Keep going. Yes. Difficulty that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. Just ask yourself maybe what am I missing or what am I missing alcohol for right now? What's it helping me to avoid? Kind of like we talked about in the beginning. And this isn't January. It's not about rules that you follow stringently.

It's just about awareness. It's about choice. It's about curiosity. Developing that knowledge, and then also the positive effects of just not doing it for a while. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also that chance for a reset where it, you know, kind of like pulling back and stopping for a while, then allows you to say, okay, moving forward, what feels like a healthy balance for me, right. Let me feel like, you know, I'm comfortable having some drinks on the weekend or I want, you know, if I go out or I do this and it gives you that reset and that chance to intentionally then say, what do I want to do moving forward? Right. This reminds me of people that do fasting or people that do intermittent fasting when they abstain from using food all the time. And then they go periods of time without it, it brings clarity. When I've done fasting, I have greater clarity. And for a while it's hard and I don't have as much energy. But the clarity of mind that can come from fasting from food is really remarkable. And I think this parallels with that. So, really by doing this, you got nothing to lose. You get everything to gain. We're not trying to sell people on it, but we do want people to be aware that, hey, this can be pretty helpful.

Yeah. Because it and it's all over the news and it's all over. Especially this start of the year, Dry January. And so it's just something that we wanted to talk about to explore. What does that mean? And you know, what are the benefits and how does that lead to insight and how does that help me move forward. So yeah, so we hope this is empowering to you and hope that you can, as Doctor Ryan was saying, try to do this in a community where even if you're not, you share with somebody what you're noticing. Yeah, yeah. And that that's actually even if you're having some difficulty with it, that sense of vulnerability can be an aspect that's freeing and needed for— Yes. So whether it's sort of concerning for you or you're noticing something exciting, community is an important aspect of— Oh, absolutely. And that vulnerability just always makes us feel closer and more connected to others. Right.

So yeah, thank you all for joining us today and we hope you take care. Thank you for listening to this episode of Everyday Therapy. We hope you're inspired to apply today's insights to your own life. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode! If you found this podcast helpful, please leave us a review. It helps others discover the show and join our community. See you next session! Everyday therapy is a production of Sagent Behavioral Health, one of the largest behavioral health organizations in the country. To learn more visit SagentBH.com